Earth Pillar - Adjusting the Distance Between Care and Independence

The 'Earth' energy of late autumn, known as 'Sul-to', has a strong nature of guarding and finishing things at the end of autumn. In terms of parental fortune, this energy can influence recurring patterns in the relationship with parents or finding the right distance between care and independence. Based on this, we can seek ways to move forward together while respecting each other.

Recurring worries in relationships with parents, or the subtle difficulties experienced between care and independence, are stories many can relate to. This flow can also be seen as an influence of innate energy, and unique patterns emerge especially when the dry earth energy of late autumn, 'Sul-to', meets with parental fortune. Sul-to is an energy corresponding to the end of autumn, with a strong nature of guarding and finishing things, and is connected to trust, loyalty, and taking responsibility to see things through. While these tendencies can sometimes positively influence relationships with parents, when they become excessive, suspicion towards each other or stubbornness may surface. Therefore, understanding how Sul-to energy affects parental fortune can help in building a healthy relationship.

Sul-to, Simply Put

Sul-to is an energy that evokes the image of dry earth during late autumn, when the cold wind begins to blow. This is the time when grains are harvested and the year's farming is concluded, so Sul-to has a strong tendency to take responsibility and guard what has been entrusted. It values trust and loyalty, and tends to thoroughly follow through on promises or assigned tasks. Furthermore, its ability to store and manage things is excellent, making it a reliable support for those around. These tendencies can manifest as strong responsibility and organizational skills. However, if this energy becomes excessively strong, stubbornness in adhering to one's own thoughts or methods can increase, or a tendency to easily distrust others' actions and be suspicious can emerge.

How It Manifests in Parental Fortune

When Sul-to energy meets with parental fortune, the subtle adjustment of distance between care and independence can become a significant challenge in the relationship with parents. For example, if Sul-to's meticulous and responsible nature is directed towards parents, they might show a tendency to meticulously manage every aspect of their child's life as if it were their own. This can sometimes be perceived as excessive interference, making it difficult for the child to establish an independent life. Conversely, if Sul-to's stubborn aspect strongly influences, parents might not easily accept advice or help from their children and insist on their own ways, causing friction in the relationship. Additionally, like the finishing energy of late autumn, there can be a tendency to hold onto unresolved issues or emotions with parents, unable to tie up loose ends. In such situations, it is important to learn to communicate with parents with a more open mind and respect each other's independence.

When It Acts Strongly vs. Weakly

When It Acts Strongly

• Takes responsibility and completes tasks to the end, earning deep trust from those around. Even when faced with difficulties, they tend to persistently seek solutions without giving up easily.
• Has excellent ability to meticulously manage and stably maintain their surroundings and relationships. They also show a systematic approach when planning and executing tasks.
• Has a strong tendency to value justice and loyalty, and may actively step in to correct broken promises or injustice without hesitation.

When It Acts Weakly

• Believes their own thoughts or methods are correct and may appear stubborn by not easily accepting others' opinions. They might also show a somewhat defensive attitude towards new changes or ideas.
• May exhibit a tendency to easily distrust others' words or actions, leading to unnecessary misunderstandings or conflicts in relationships. Excessive caution can sometimes lead to mistakes.
• May hesitate to take on new challenges or feel stifled in relationships due to an excessive obsession with their work or relationships, or the pressure to finish things perfectly.

Changes Depending on the Time Period

How the nature of 'Sul-to', the dry earth energy of late autumn, manifests in relationships with parents can be felt differently by each person and at various stages of life. For example, in younger years, one might value the feeling of being protected within a stable management or a strong fence provided by parents. At this time, Sul-to's energy can act as a sense of security based on parental trust and loyalty. However, as one grows older and lives an independent life, excessive interference or worry from parents might feel burdensome. Thus, when Sul-to's positive aspects of responsibility and management sometimes lead to persistent obsession or suspicion, subtle tension can arise in the relationship with parents. Furthermore, the experiences or tendencies of parents during a specific period (e.g., late autumn) may influence their children, and conversely, the experiences children have in their relationships with parents as they grow can also change how Sul-to's energy manifests. The important thing is to understand these energy flows and attempt to build relationships appropriate for each stage.

Common Misunderstandings

• It is easy to think that Sul-to energy in relationships with parents means 'unconditional conflict'. However, Sul-to has a strong nature of guarding and finishing, and also tends to form strong relationships based on deep loyalty and trust. It can manifest as quietly helping parents or being a reliable support during difficult times.
• It is also sometimes concluded that Sul-to solely represents 'stubborn parents who dislike change'. While there can be a tendency to adhere to one's own methods, this can also stem from the will to finish tasks perfectly with a sense of responsibility. Although one may be cautious about accepting new things, it can be seen as a tendency to take responsibility until the end once a decision is made.
• There are cases that only emphasize the negative interpretation of 'difficulty living an independent life' in relationships with parents. Sul-to's energy can actually become a strength to firmly establish one's own domain in the world, based on the teachings or stability received from parents. Wisdom can be exercised in the process of finding a balance between care and independence.

Applying to Parental Fortune Immediately

• Think of specific things you are grateful for regarding your parents and express them. For example, mentioning a parent's action connected to Sul-to's 'guarding and finishing' nature, such as 'Thank you for nursing me all night when I was sick as a child,' is a good way to convey your feelings. If you haven't expressed it often, start by sending your sincere feelings via text or message.
• Practice adjusting the distance between 'your thoughts' and 'your parents' thoughts' in conversations. While respecting each other's opinions, it is important to acknowledge 'differences' rather than trying to make everything align. For example, after listening to your parents' advice, it is good to practice gently conveying your position, such as, 'Thank you for your words. My thoughts are a little different, but I will consider them and make a good decision.'
• Practice maintaining an 'appropriate distance' with your parents. This does not simply mean physical distance, but emotional independence. Instead of accepting all of your parents' worries or advice, gradually expand the areas where you can make your own judgments and decisions. For example, you can build confidence by seeking advice from your parents on important decisions but making the final decision yourself.
• Try to attempt 'new experiences' with your parents. Planning and carrying out new hobbies or travel plans that you don't usually do together can be a fresh stimulus for each other. This can serve as an opportunity to form a flexible relationship by breaking away from existing patterns and gently opening up Sul-to's seemingly closed nature.