Conflict in Marriage Due to Expression and Wit

When the energy of 'SangGwan,' representing outgoing expression and wit, is strong, frequent conflicts can arise between spouses over words or money. It's important to acknowledge differences in thinking and establish rules to stop arguments before they escalate. Wisdom is needed to guide conflicts toward constructive dialogue.

Conflicts between spouses can sometimes start with trivial arguments and lead to deep rifts. Particularly when the 'SangGwan' energy, symbolizing outgoing expression, wit, and creative ideas, is strongly at play, these conflicts often begin or escalate due to words. This is simply a natural tendency of one's inherent energy, not an intention to ruin the relationship. In fact, if this energy is understood and managed well, it can become the key to enriching the relationship further.

SangGwan, Simply Put

SangGwan signifies the energy of wanting to freely express one's unique personality and ideas. It dislikes rigidity, enjoys trying new things, and is characterized by a strong desire to express oneself through various forms like speech, writing, or art. When this energy is abundant, it can manifest as witty speech and quick thinking that entertains those around, or as creative ideas that excel in planning new ventures. At times, it can be a force that shakes existing order and drives change. However, if this energy is released too intensely, one's thoughts or expressions might become overbearing, leading to friction with others.

How It Manifests in Marital Conflict

In marital relationships, when SangGwan energy is strongly active, conflicts tend to originate from speech or communication styles. There might be a tendency to immediately and forcefully express one's opinion about a spouse's words or actions, or sometimes to offer sharp critiques or criticisms. This may not be an attempt to control or belittle the spouse, but rather a natural expression of one's thoughts or feelings. Furthermore, conflicts can also arise from unexpected expenses or financial issues. Friction may occur when a spouse makes purchases without planning, spends a lot on their personal interests, or when disagreements arise regarding the household's financial situation. Issues concerning the division of labor also frequently surface; dissatisfaction can build up and lead to conflict when a spouse handles household chores or childcare in a way that doesn't meet one's standards, or when one feels their assigned role isn't being fulfilled properly.

When It Acts Strongly vs. Weakly

When It Acts Strongly

• One can express thoughts and wit freely, leading conversations with their spouse in a fun and engaging way. Unexpected ideas can bring vitality to the household.
• There is no hesitation in learning or trying new things, allowing one to take the lead in couples' hobbies or accumulating new experiences together.
• Sometimes, direct feedback on a spouse's words or actions can provide an opportunity for relationship improvement. However, it's important to pay a little more attention to the tone and manner of expression during this process.

When It Acts Weakly

• One might find it difficult to express their thoughts or feelings honestly, or may hold back words they want to say, leading to internal frustration.
• Even if new ideas arise, they tend to be kept private rather than acted upon. Creative energy may remain internalized instead of being expressed outwardly.
• When conflicts arise in the relationship, one might avoid direct confrontation, opting for silence instead. However, this may only lead to a temporary truce rather than a fundamental resolution of the problem.

Changes Depending on the Period

The influence of SangGwan energy can manifest differently depending on one's age, life's flow, and the season. In younger years, there might be a strong tendency to try new things and lead relationships with abundant energy and ideas. At this stage, expressions can be direct or sometimes inconsiderate, leading to misunderstandings. However, as one ages and gains experience, this expressiveness and wit can manifest in a deeper, more mature way. For instance, one might become adept at proposing creative ideas or using humor to ease tension during conflicts. Additionally, during periods when SangGwan energy is particularly strong, one might become more talkative than usual, react sensitively to minor issues, and assert their opinions forcefully. During such times, emotional clashes in conversations with a spouse can become frequent, necessitating conscious effort to communicate calmly. Seasonally, when SangGwan energy becomes more active, increased activity and social interaction can lead to neglecting the home or create opportunities for marital conflict.

Common Misconceptions

• It's easy to mistakenly believe that SangGwan energy only has negative aspects that cause trouble. However, in modern society, excellent expressiveness, creative ideas, and witty speech are highly valued, forming the foundation for success in various fields like sales, planning, and arts. Therefore, having strong SangGwan energy doesn't necessarily mean it should be viewed solely negatively.
• There's a tendency to assume that conflicts with a spouse will be endless if SangGwan energy is strong. However, this is something that can be overcome with personal effort and relational wisdom. By adjusting communication styles and making an effort to understand the other person's perspective more deeply, one can foster even richer and more profound conversations. Conflicts can even be seen as opportunities for relationship growth.
• There's a tendency to view conflicts arising from SangGwan energy as 'destiny' or 'unchangeable.' However, birth charts only help in understanding inherent tendencies and dispositions; actual life choices and efforts can significantly alter outcomes. The future of a relationship can change depending on how one reacts and copes in conflict situations.

Applying This to Marital Conflict Now

• Today, when talking with your spouse, try practicing asking 'What do you think?' instead of starting with 'I think this way.' Listening fully to the other person first and then calmly sharing your opinion can reduce the likelihood of arguments escalating.
• When conflicts arise over money, instead of calculating who earned or spent how much, try having a conversation about 'What are our family's financial goals?' Setting specific goals and working together can help bridge differences in financial views and build a cooperative relationship. It's advisable to create a financial plan together.
• When dissatisfaction arises regarding household chores or roles, instead of calculating 'who does more,' try suggesting, 'I'll take care of this task this week, how about you handle that one?' Flexibly adjusting roles based on each other's situations and conditions, and frequently expressing gratitude, greatly helps in smoothing the relationship.