Lack of Wood Energy and Marital Conflict — Hesitation to Start and Repeated Arguments

A birth chart with little wood energy can often be linked to a tendency for repeated marital conflict. A weak ability to initiate, leading to procrastination or easily following others' lead, can sow the seeds of conflict in a marriage. In such cases, establishing rules to pause before conflicts escalate and making efforts to infuse each other with positive energy are important.

Conflicts between spouses often begin with minor arguments and gradually deepen. In particular, individuals born with a birth chart considered to have 'lack of wood energy' may experience difficulties with recurring conflict patterns. However, this is merely an innate tendency, and relationships can be sufficiently improved through mutual understanding and efforts to communicate. A birth chart with little wood energy may show a tendency towards a weaker ability to initiate or a lesser drive to move forward, leading to procrastination in decisions or a tendency to go along with others' momentum. We will explore how this tendency manifests in marital relationships and how conflicts can be resolved.

Lack of Wood Energy, Simply Put

In a birth chart, 'wood' represents the energy of trees and symbolizes the life force of growth and expansion. A birth chart with relatively little wood energy may manifest as a weaker ability to initiate or a reduced drive to pursue new endeavors. While one might be skilled at planning, taking the first step to execute those plans can be time-consuming or lead to hesitation. Sometimes, one may feel more comfortable acting based on circumstances or others' opinions rather than making decisions independently. This manifests as a tendency to prefer observing the situation or naturally joining ongoing trends rather than actively taking the lead. Therefore, hesitation or delays may occur when starting new tasks or when change is needed.

How It Manifests in Marital Conflict

A tendency towards less wood energy can cause conflict in marital relationships in several ways. First, conflicts may arise concerning finances. Spending money without a plan, or conversely, being passive about saving money and delaying financial decisions, can frustrate a spouse. Second, conflicts can arise in the division of household chores or childcare. A hesitant attitude or waiting for others' help, rather than actively taking charge, can burden or disappoint a spouse. Third, communication difficulties may occur during conversations. Instead of clearly expressing one's opinions, one might speak indirectly, or appear to agree easily with the other person only to hesitate at a crucial moment, causing frustration. These recurring patterns can lead to a buildup of distrust or resentment, intensifying conflicts.

When It Acts Strongly · When It Acts Weakly

When It Acts Strongly

• When starting new endeavors or attempting changes, one can successfully lead tasks by demonstrating drive without hesitation. At times, the ability to keenly grasp the surrounding trends and adapt flexibly stands out.
• One demonstrates diligence by consistently carrying out assigned tasks with a sense of responsibility, quietly fulfilling one's role. This behavior provides a sense of stability to those around and forms the basis for building trust.
• In moments requiring decisiveness, one acts boldly and shows a strong will to complete tasks once started. This becomes a significant driving force for achieving goals and a source of strength to overcome difficulties.

When It Acts Weakly

• One may exhibit a somewhat passive attitude towards generating new ideas or initiating tasks. It can take a long time to make decisions, or there may be a tendency to be easily swayed by others' opinions.
• While skilled at planning, one may struggle with taking the first step to execute those plans. At times, one might prefer to wait for situations to resolve themselves or to follow someone else's lead.
• Being awkward at clearly expressing one's intentions or emotions can lead to misunderstandings or create a sense of frustration. This can create communication barriers in relationships or leave one with regret for not being able to convey their thoughts properly.

Changes Depending on the Timing

While a tendency towards a lack of wood energy might be an innate disposition, it can manifest differently depending on life's flow or as one ages. For instance, while hesitation in starting things might be significant in youth, experience can gradually foster the power to pursue tasks with one's own will. Furthermore, the lack of wood energy can be felt differently depending on the season. During vibrant seasons like spring, one's own pace might feel relatively slow, whereas during calm periods like autumn or winter, one might feel stable and calmly execute plans. The important thing is to understand these energy flows and proceed by adjusting one's pace to suit each period. Sometimes, external help or stimulation can provide the impetus for a new beginning.

Common Misunderstandings

• A lack of wood energy does not mean one cannot start anything or has no motivation at all. It simply means one might be more cautious than others when starting, or take longer to make decisions. This can, conversely, lead to positive outcomes like meticulous planning and preparation.
• When marital conflicts repeat, it is a misunderstanding to conclude that only the spouse with the lack of wood energy is the problem. Conflicts arise from the interaction between two people and often manifest through mutual influence with the other's energy. Understanding each person's tendencies is crucial.
• A lack of wood energy is different from laziness or idleness. Hesitation might stem from the pressure of starting or a desire to do things perfectly. This may indicate a need for a more stable environment or clearer direction, rather than a lack of will.

Direct Application to Marital Conflict

• When it seems like an argument is about to start, try establishing a rule to pause instead of reacting immediately. For example, setting specific behavioral rules like 'silence for 10 seconds each' or 'if angry, say 'just a moment,' leave the room, and resume conversation after 5 minutes' can prevent emotions from escalating.
• If conflicts arise over money, instead of spending or hiding money secretly from your spouse, create a system for transparently sharing each person's allowance amounts and spending details. Alternatively, regularly creating a household budget together and planning finances can be beneficial.
• If dissatisfaction builds regarding the division of household chores or childcare, instead of arguing about 'who did more,' hold a meeting to create a list of tasks each person can do and clearly divide roles. It is important to assign roles that leverage each person's strengths.
• Give each other 'compliment stickers' or set aside time once a day to talk about your spouse's good qualities. Positive words and actions soften relationships and greatly help foster mutual understanding even in conflict situations.